The Incredible Melting Man (1977)

For any lovers of 1970’s B movies, this film is a definite must. Requested by Lenny of Dancing with Architecture, The Incredible Melting Man is like three different slices of cake together on the same plate. The first is a very cheesy cheesecake, the second is a bland and boring sponge and the third is a strong incredibly dark and rich-chocolate cake. In case my rather ridiculous metaphor is confusing to some; the first part of the film is pure 1970’s nonsense, the middle a little bit boring and the ending is bleak and fantastically dark. I will try something a little bit different and work the review through each section.


To begin with however a brief story breakdown: Steve West is the only survivor of the first manned mission to Saturn. When he returns however it is discovered that this has had some rather interesting side affects- trust me fellow teens, if you thought acne was bad you need to watch this! You see Mr West likes to melt and in order to keep his body cells going he has to steal other peoples. It’s up to Doctor Ted Nelson to save the day!

Without a doubt the opening section of the movie (before night falls) is the most entertaining and will delight all you bad movie fans out there. In this part we get to see our melting hero chase an overly large nurse (who really should have worn a sports bra), we get to see several random shots of a head travelling down a river before it goes over a waterfall and splats on the rocks below. However my personal favourite part (purely for amusement value-nothing else!) from this section was when we have a topless girl screaming and the camera quickly slips down from her face to cover her “ampleness”. This part of the film will delight the cheese fans the most: you get gratuitous nude shots, gore and violence and a wonderfully sick scene of a little girl wiping her hand in a melted bit of old Steve.

Sadly as night falls-so does the entertainment value. The film becomes rather boring and dull and I suspect that a lot of scenes were only in to fill up the running time. The nudity and gore is cut down severely during this section so for any horror fans that like your films chock full of this stuff you will be disappointed. There is one rather effective scene of a couple coming home and being preyed on by the melting man which surprisingly is rather effective. However the majority of this part is just a lot of running around and even more shots of Mr Melt just moping in graveyards and what not, effective before but starting to appear repetitive.

Now we come to my favourite and without doubt the most effective part of the film, the finale. Our hero’s finally manage to track the melting man down to a factory or power station or something where a powerful chase and a genuinely surprising twist ending take place. The action really picks up here and there’s a genuinely cool death where a man is thrown over a railing and lands on some power lines, in shocktastic glory! However the real draw to the conclusion of the film is the ending. Now if you haven’t seen the film, stop reading now because I am going to spoil. Since the film seems similar to many 1950’s sci-fi monster flicks, I was expecting the Melting Man to die saving Ted Nelson or something. However I was incredibly surprised when two security guards turn up and shoot Ted Nelson (however I was amused that this man who has the constant urge to tell everyone his name- had the last words of “I’M DOCTOR TED NELSON!”) The melting man then kills them before going off to finally turn into what resembles the bi product of mixing chicken and tomato soup and then as dawn breaks were from a radio that another mission has been sent to Saturn. The melting man is brushed up and put in a bin- wow, depressing much!

This is in no way a great film- but it is fun. If you can get over the boring middle section then whilst no being rewarding in any way it is a great way to spend ninety minutes or so.

The Mutations (1974)- sorry for the delay, just started sixth form!

Requested by my friend Shaun, from The Celluloid Highway ( a blog I suggest you go and read if you have not already) and one of this sites thirteen followers ( I know I’ve hit the big time), The Mutations is a film largely know for two reasons. 1) It features a pre-Doctor Who Tom Baker covered in prosthetics and 2) the “Freaks” are played by real deformed actors. Overall it’s a pretty enjoyable little piece, with a good pace and enough cheese to merit a second viewing.

The plots silly enough: Doctor Nolter (Donald Pleasance) is a leading Biochemist, his theories on mutations are disturbing to say the least. How he is attempting to put his theories into practice however is all the more frightening. Aided by a deformed “freak show” owner, Mr. Lynch (Tom Baker) he is attempting to create a half man- half plant creature, using students from the university where he teaches as his subjects…

There’s a very 1970’s feel to the film, that adds immensely to the strange dreamlike quality of some of the sequences. A character at one tells a story about when her friend had an acid trip and I wonder if that was the kind of feel intended by the Director. It seems like a good way to justify the scene where one of our teenage hero’s is chased through a foggy park by two midgets to a strange discordant soundtrack of out of key guitar notes and random saxophone blasts.

In fact the majority of the films most disturbing sequences feature not Pleasance and his plant men but the “freaks” or Bakers Mr. lynch. The subplot of Baker bullying the performers because he likes to think of himself as better than them and not in the same boat, is without doubt the most haunting and memorable part of the film ( although personally I did enjoy pleasance feeding rabbits to his monster plant). With these scenes we do not know who to pity, although ultimately we know that what baker is doing is wrong no matter what the motive. In fact Bakers performance is one of the main highlights and reasons to watch this film. The scene where he goes to a prostitute and is turned away by several, before finding one who will sleep with him and requests that during intercourse she says that she loves him, is a heartbreaking performance. The audience is made even more sympathetic towards baker’s character when she begins to take advantage of him and charge him more for his requests (although I couldn’t suppress a giggle when she stated it was £3 for her services)

Pleasance gives another strong performance even though he’s still stuck in the mad scientist role. For fans of his there’s lots of scenes of him experimenting in his lab including a few disturbing close ups of his eyes. It is quite fun to note however that this mad scientist is also a teacher. I can imagine many children of the 70’s taking this as concrete evidence that their teachers are evil. The monster that he creates is also not too embarrassing although it is strange that it first appears in a long black coat and then “au natural”. On a side note Halloween (1978) fans will get a kick out of seeing Pleasance wearing a cream trench coat four years before his first performance as Loomis! Also for prop spotters out there-is that the Laser from Goldfinger (1964)?

It’s not all great though, the main hero is very weak and makes one wonder why a fifty something year old scientist is hanging around with teenagers? Julie Edge also gives a very weak performance, but fans of hers defiantly need to see this at least once. All in all it’s a strong tale from the height of British horror and definite must for fans of this period. With an insane plot, gratuitous nudity and British actors at the top of their game- this obscure film comes highly recommended to British horror fans. It may be cheesy but its damn good entertainment.

PS: I'm no longer doing overall,gore or nudity ratings-I prefer to just chat about the films, I will remove the others (eventually)

Apologies and choose a film for me to review

I suppose I owe anybody who reads this blog an apology. I went on my yearly Holiday to egypt being told that there was a Wireless connection-there was not. So yet again the blog went for quite some time without anything being posted. There is however some good news. In a week or so I will be seeing (unless im struck by lightning) the following list of classic horror goodness:
Basket Case (1982)
The Mutations (1974)
Doomwatch (1972)
The Incredible Melting Man (1977)
Bride of Re-Animator (1992)
House of a Thousand Dolls (1969)

So choose a film or two! If no one replys I'll just pick them myself-they will probably all be reviewed at somepoint anyway